Camping. August long weekend. Twenty seventeen.
It all started with a garage sale. Years ago, Marcel* picked up a free couch from a garage sale in Crossfield, Alberta. Sitting on the side of the road was this dirty old couch that obviously had seen better days. This couch had most likely been sat on by hundreds of people for many years before the owners decided to throw it on their front lawn with a “free” sign. So what does our buddy do? He carried it down the block and then kindly delivers it to Cody’s house- which nine times out of ten is left unlocked. It’s small town Crossfield so what else would you expect. So several hours later, Cody* (who was out with Jason* and I) comes home and finds this lovely work of art sitting in his living room. This was easily the best prank that I had to honor of witnessing. Anyways- here we are in twenty seventeen and Cody still had this couch sitting in his living room.
Back to camping. All of us usually try to make it out for one, if not two, camping trips together. This has become much more challenging considering most of us work on different schedules than one another. August long was booked off well in advance so we could all make it out. Little did we know Cody and J.T.* loaded this garage sale couch in the back of the truck and brought it camping in the middle of nowhere. Everyone loved it! There really is nothing better than lounging on a well-broken-in couch, enjoying some beers and sitting by the fire.
The problem with bringing it camping was that bringing it back seemed more hassle than it was worth.. especially considering the state it was in before it even left the house. So after four days of being slept on, spilled on, shot at by fireworks, and after having who knows what kind of insects crawling all over it, we did what anyone would. We set it on fire. And boy did that bitch burn.
Just so you know, the weekend we were out there, there was a fire ban south of where we were camping. Luckily we were in the clear and able to have a camp fire that weekend. But you could imagine how easily “let’s set the couch on fire!!!” could turn into “oh shit we just set the whole forest on fire…” So after packing up all of our things Monday morning, the few of us that were left decided to start the process. After throwing a cushion or two into the pit and seeing just how quickly it burst into flames (plenty of toxic fumes too by the way), we figured throwing a seven foot couch onto a 3 foot fire pit wasn’t the best idea. Cause you know… forest fires. The next logical thing to do was have everyone take a swing at it with the axe and after it was chopped into smaller pieces we could then throw it on. Not sure why we figured it would be easily axing a couch in half. Ha ha ha yeah right. This axe was not sharp at all, might I add. After each of us took a few wacks at it, several of us took turns using this very dull pocket knife to cut through the fabric, we were left with the springs holding the pieces together. Honestly, I don’t even remember what we used to cut the springs but we somehow managed. Two-three hours later we finally succeeded! The couch was on fire. Every single piece of it had been hacked, ripped, and snapped in half and thrown into the pit. What a great feeling. Hours of hard work after an already exhausting weekend, inhaling toxic fumes from the thick black smoke signals we were sending off, followed by fear of starting a secondary forest fire (we had people on stand by with water. Don’t worry we’re responsible). AND IT WAS AWESOME!
*Marcel – I friend I was introduced to through my boyfriend.
*Cody – Another friend I was introduced to through my boyfriend.
*J.T. – Well you get the picture.
*Jason – My boyfriend 🙂