Monday. September twenty-fifth, twenty seventeen.
Recently I’ve spent too many days focusing on all the things that are weighing me down and making me miserable. And let me tell you- it’s exhausting. Have you ever had so much negativity that you can literally feel yourself being dragged into a dark hole? That awful place of self doubt and hatred where you feel like you can’t even see the light anymore? Well I’ve been there for the last few weeks.
So, on this loser of a Monday, I decided I’d like to take some time to appreciate all the good things in my life. Too often when I’m down in the dumps and busy feeling sorry for myself I just can’t seem to find the time to give a shout out to all the good shit. So here it goes.
First up on my list ist meine Familie. I always loved being apart of a big family. I never realized how deep of a connection you build when you grow up in a seven person household. I guess what they say is true: love grows best in little houses with fewer walls. Still to this day whenever I tell people I have four siblings their jaws always drop. I always thought it was normal to grow up with lots of brothers and a sister. But I guess some people aren’t as fortunate as I am. Now that everyone is getting on with their separate lives, I’m extremely grateful that we are all still living in the same city. Even though sometimes weeks fly by without me seeing them, I know that this bunch of hooligans is always there for me when I need them to be. On bad days they may never know it, but having some laughs and getting to enjoy their company makes my days a little bit brighter.
Second on my list is the home that Jason and I have created together. We have been together for over four and a half years. Which is a very long time to have someone as your best friend and partner. In October of twenty sixteen we moved into our first home together. You’d think we’d already be condition to each others habits and lifestyles after over three years of dating prior to living together. But somehow we still seemed to surprise each other…. A LOT. But no matter how annoyed we may have gotten (still get) we always try to remember what really matters. I’ll always be grateful to have someone who cares for me and loves me as much as Jason does. This life we have together is definitely more than I ever expected to have. The years have flown by and yet I always feel like we’ve been together forever. I can’t wait to see where the future takes us, and whenever I think about all the things yet to come- I always feel happy.
Third on my list is Miss Merlot. Shortly after Jason and I moved in, we talked about getting a puppy someday. Key word someday. On Halloween twenty sixteen I went for a drive to see some puppies at a farm outside of Sundre. I went to go look at these cute little eight week old stinkers. Their mother was a cairn terrier (same breed as our dogs growing up) and the father was a blue heeler from the neighbors farm. My intentions were to go drive out there and take a look. I hadn’t looked at any puppies yet because I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself. So after about twenty minutes of watching these two chunky little boys run around with this smaller little girl, it was very clear which one I liked best. The girl puppy was this cute little feisty one that stole my heart. Again, I was just there to look at them. So the owner lady told me she had one other lady coming to look the next day. Fear of loss is very powerful. Unsure of which puppy this chick would choose following day, I did what anyone would do. I bought the little girl. At this point the owner is packing up her things and giving me some dog food etc. as I’m holding this squirmy fluff ball. Next thing I know, I’m walking to my car with an eight week old puppy in my arms, a zip lock bag of dog food and Jason has absolutely no idea whats going on. Oops.
I’ve lived most of my life being very spontaneous. I have made many decisions on the fly that probably should have had a bit more thought and planning put into it. This decision to adopt a dog and bring her home with zero supplies, without my other half knowing, into a house we just moved into, with bills we had just started paying. Yeah I’ve made better choice. I remember driving down the gravel roads with a whining pup that had no name, and was obviously very terrified. Little did she know, I was much more terrified than her. I couldn’t even believe myself. As every young adult flopping through life would do, I called my mom. As soon as she picked up the phone I told her I had gone to look at some puppies… and I bought one. Her reaction was something like “oh Alannah, I knew you would do that.” The one thing I remember most about that conversation is that I started to cry my eyes out and when my mom asked me why, I just said “I love her so much already.” And that I did.
Jason came to love her just as quickly. Merlot has sure made our lives very interesting and challenging to say the least. She had her first birthday last month and I couldn’t believe just how fast she grew up into this much bigger version of her feisty little self. But I wouldn’t change any of it. From day one I knew she was meant to be; and to this day when I look at her I remember why I know it’s all worth it.
Last on my list is all of the wonderful friends I have in my life. I know a lot of the people that I spend time with have seen me in better moods than how I’ve been recently, but no matter what they also continue to show me a good time and make sure I have some laughs. I cannot thank everyone enough for that. When life sucks I know that I have lots of people who will always be there for me. Whether they’re the friend that takes me out to the bar to get over all my sorrows, or the friends that I enjoy game nights with, or the friends that I sit and talk to for hours on end. They all play such an important role in my life and I am very happy to have you around.
I am truly blessed.